I remind myself sometimes of the eagle I saw one night. It’s not worth going over the details of what it looked like, how massive it was or the stars because not one person ever believed me when I told them about it and no one ever will. I accept that fully because I know it was something that I wouldn’t believe if someone told me the same thing either.
So sometimes when I feel spiritually distant or void or like something is missing, bored with life, let down by its potential or feel like it is meaningless, I remind myself that THAT did happened and there is more to life than what we can observe.
There’s more than ancient words written on walls of the dead or in scrolls hidden in the desert, oms, hymns, miracles, meditation, contemplation.
There’s more than gods given names and powers, or spirits we compartmentalize for convenience of understanding.
There’s more than concepts that need flavor, the awe of inspiration from Nature or physics.
There’s more than laws that govern the universe, more than words, more than thoughts and even when we cannot understand why we do it, wish for where we will go, hope for a better future, fall in love with what is and what is not…
I just keep reminding myself when I feel distant that one day many years ago, it showed itself to me.
Why in form of an abstract eagle? Why did it cary stars? Why me? I will never know the answers to these questions. I will never know for sure what it was. I cannot even say for sure if another life exists for me in the future, if we become non-existent after we die, if we are reborn, reincarnated, become fodder for Earth and all her creatures and eventually end up as a pile of poop (lol), however it works out, I remain certain that whether it was a vision projected from my mind, or something physically real, that I changed that day.
Like a guide to a different path when I was so oblivious and searching in the dark on my hands and knees, it came like a guide and I followed it and I still find myself following it no matter where it leads me.
I don’t know where it ends but I do know that whatever it was, I was “blessed” in that sense, that something heard me in my darkest days, picked me up (not literally) and pointed the way.
I wish I could use words to express my gratitude to whatever it was for just a glimpse of what lies within the unknown.
Life’s a fantastic mystery.