I started my Yoga Practice when I was about 24, going on 44 very soon. It was a time in my life that wasn’t looking so bright and this lead down a road I never want to go down again. To keep the story light, Yoga was offered to me by my, then, therapist who mentioned it as an alternative to medications that may have been working to prevent me from doing much at all but didn’t fix what was going on inside my mind.
So the next day or so I started stretching. I didn’t really have money at the time to purchase a video but in general, I knew what Yoga was. Back then I thought it was just a fancy name for stretching so I started stretching. What was incredible about it was that I started to feel something in my body and it felt good. My mind started to slow down. It was like the stretching was releasing something in my body that was better than anything I had taken before to ‘feel better’.
Before long a simple stretch like touching my toes became something more on it’s own. I started to listen to my body. Whenever I felt something new that felt like it needed my attention, I would just see if I could follow it. I didn’t know then that what I was doing was channeling, looking for obstructions or things in my body that were binding or holding on to negativity and things that most now understand as tension or stress.
I probably did the same stretches every day for a few years with new ‘stretches’ being added to my practice just by following where my body wanted to go. What I didn’t know then was that I was practicing things like Warrior 2 but had never heard of it formally because I didn’t have a yoga dvd, I didn’t have a teacher, I didn’t even have a mat. I just practiced in silence in the morning and at night before bed.
This was the beginning of what it took to slow my mind down, to understand what was causing my mind to falter, how my mind was connected to my body and how he two played a role together in how my spirit was manifesting. I never stopped doing it. Of course there were times when I didn’t like having a baby or when I was just too tired for much of anything other than sleep BUT for the better part of the last 20 years I have been in practice.
Over the years stretching became flow and flow became change and I understood the value of breath to movement. With the internet I found new poses, with DVD’s I learned new things and when life got hard again, I always came back to Yoga trying the harder asanas to quiet my mind. I never really spoke of it much. I would here and there mention it to my then boyfriend who is now my husband but outside of that, I just kept it to myself. It was my thing.
During the last couple years with the Rona, the same things that caused my soul aguish back in my teens and early 20s crept back in. I wasn’t in consistent practice, my meditative jog was halted completely because age has taken it’s toll on my neck and knees and before I knew it I was back in the funk and struggling.
Long story short, I got help from a new therapist and found my way back to yoga. It was then that I knew I wanted to teach. Coming back to yoga after about a year of not made me see how much of an impact it has on my life. It doesn’t seem like much from the outside but it is and has continued to be what puts life back into perspective by making the constant chatter in my head shut up, by embracing that I have and always will be a survivor, that regardless of how others see me, what matters is the way I see myself, how I care for myself, how I love myself… to know myself.
This is what I want to give to people. I just know that if I lay the right foundation whether it’s just a physical practice or a spiritual one, that people can find their own way. I feel like my ‘job’ is to show you how to get there and then it becomes your practice to use it as insight to your own true self. Your Atman, your true nature that is knowable but hard to find. The part of you that is part of the ‘godhead’ the very essence of the Universe, the Brahmin, the God, the Om, Nature, whatever you want to call, I just want to help you see you and the value you have in the big picture.
I am now a Registered Yoga Teacher and starting a new chapter in my life as a such. As with all things, I never really know how it will turn out BUT I know that it is what I know and can offer.
In my videos I teach the physical aspects, in my blog are personal aspects. I know that I don’t always get it right, not physically, not emotionally, not in my thoughts but I do know that my intentions are in the right place and truly that does matter.